Everybody knows that the Soccer World Cup is almost here. And if for any reason you are from another planet and are unaware of it, don’t worry there are already one hundred articles, advertisings and comments that will give you a lead on it.
For example, a few days a ago my boyfriend sent my the ultimate 14 rules that a girl should follow during the world cup…WHAT?! 14 rules that WE have to follow. Please boys do not get confused, the Soccer World Cup is the best month of our life. One whole month seeing hot football players (a.k.a Cristiano Ronaldo, Xabi Alonso or Balzaretti) sweating around = PARADAISE.
We absolutely see you reflected in the rules given; but from my point of view and every girl with whom I have shared them, these ultimate rules need a little touch.
- Rule number 1 “Doing groceries outside the schedule of any football match or/and any replay”. Lets be honest, now a days if a girls says she is going outside for doing grocery she is cheating on you, we have internet for that.
- Rule number 2 “Read sports newspapers, so we can have something to talk about, if not do not worry if we do not talk during that month”. Do not worry we will not only read one, but all the sports newspapers of the store. The next day in the office we will be talking about how handsome Daniele de Rossi is and the incredible abs Cristiano Ronaldo has. We really do not need to talk with you during this month, we have all are necessities covered by our girl friends.
- Rule number 3 “During the whole World Cup, our TV is mine, and only mine. Do not dare to look at the remote control”. During the whole World Cup, our VISA is mine, and only mine. Do not dare to look at the bank extracts.
- Rule number 4 “If you have to pass in front of the TV don’t worry you can do it as long as you crawl over the room and in silence”. Really? Who do you think I am Lara Croft? Sorry but I am not crawling around the room.
- Rule number 5 “During the matches I am deaf and bling. Don’t wait for me to say hi to your mom, your friends or to babysit the children”. My mom and friends wont come over to visit; we will meet in the mall to continue the shopping we started on the 12 of June.
- Rule number 6 “You will have to fill the fridge with beer and food for my friends, who will be coming over to watch the match”. Do not worry I will take care of it, and will make sure we have the best reception ever; but for that I will have to buy Caviar and French cheese, lobsters, Champagne and whatever else you like.
- Rule number 7 “If you see my angry because my team is loosing, please do not try to comfort me saying that it is okay or it is not that bad”. Ehh…hello!! We do not say that to comfort you we say that as a statement. It is true that it is not that bad…he world is not ENDING!
Rule number 8 “You can sit and watch the match with me and you can even talk to me, but only during the ads, FYI that is when the football players are not on the screen, and pleaseee do not do any technical comments”. I won’t. I am not interested in any technical aspect of the match, I just care if the girlfriend of Mesut Ozil, FYI is a gorgeous model, went and what was she wearing.
- Rule number 9 “The replays are very important. It doesn’t matter if I saw them already or if a know them by heart by now; I want to see them over and over again” OK, fine with me but do not expect me to see them again with you, I have so much better things to do… And if I am sleeping when you come back to bed blame yourself.
- Rule number 10 “it is forbidden to have any type of social event during the World Cup, no weddings, no dinners no nothing”. Absolute agreement on this one. You might not know it but while you are watching the match we the girls are gossiping and talking about things. We like meeting to “watch” the matches; unless we are talking about the semi-final and final, which we actually watch.
- Rule number 11 “If a friend invites us to watch the match, we are absolutely going…and do not be late”. You are free to go, but I rather meet my friends to have a drink, and do not even think about saying “I want to watch the football with you” ehhh no! That’s so not true and its fine with my so again do not worry.
- Rule number 12 “The recap are very VERY important, it doesn’t matter if we already sow the game”. You just said it, you already saw the game, you know how is finishing. It doesn’t matter if that goal should have be an offside, the result WON’T change. And, for the record, no we do not know what an offside is so do not try to explain it, we will never understand it.
- Rule number 13 “For the opening of the World Cup and the final match you have to prepare food and pour us the beer, everything in silence”. I think you are confusing world cup with slavery. If you want food go ahead and by you are it, please get something ready for me.
- Rule number 14 “Please, do not say that you are glad that the World Cup is only every four months, or gladly it only last one month”. We absolutely won’t EVER say that. We like the World Cup, as already said it’s our own paradise.
And please don’t fool yourself we will ultimately do want we want, we are girls.